I started this post weeks ago, but first one thing came up, and then another… and then I looked at the pics and didn’t want any parallels with a certain picture taking member of congress, but I think I have a better point.
Body image is an amazing thing. I always thought of myself as SO fat growing up, to the point where I flirted with a couple of eating disorders, but I look back now, and I was pretty normal.
I’ve recently realized, that I think it has a lot with how I LITERALY look at myself.
My view, mainly my top
I’ve never loved having my picture taken, but in the last several years as I’ve packed on the pounds, I actively avoid it. I don’t love pictures of my chubby face, but am more likely to allow that than something that shows my curves. I don’t even really hang out in front of mirrors. I stand there long enough to “put my face on” as my mom would say, but I’ve got a 5 min makeup routine down to a science.
So most of the time I look at myself, all I is my ridiculous chest. If I stand up straight, I haven’t been able to see my toes since entering high school… and other than pregnancy, my belly has never stuck out past my chest. I’m sitting here, to try and share the view, but from here, does this really look like someone who is obese?
But the fact is, I’ve got 100 lbs to lose.
So I’m going to open up just a tiny bit more, and try to bring this blog back to the training blog it was always meant to be, and track my progress.
A few weeks ago I went to check out Positive Changes, hypnosis for weight loss. After they told me how much ($2600 for the recommended 9 month program) I balked, and figured I could do more in race fees for that… and bought a $9.99 download on iTunes. Leave comments or message me if you want specifics, but I think it’s kind of working. Five pounds down, 95 to go.
I’m not sure if I’ll post again before the See Jane Run, but I do promise to train, at least some.
And although I’m not planning to take any cell phone pics in a mirror and share, I’m going to try and take a good hard look more often. Hopefully as the summer goes along I’ll be happier about what I see.