Monday, July 6, 2009

The Heart of the Matter

So what I SHOULD be doing right now is going to bed, but on nights when I work out, I tend to not be tired right away. What this means is I should likely workout in the AM, but this is hard to convince myself when the alarm goes off.

I'm trying to get myself psyched up to sign up for an additional "try a tri" event in the next couple of weeks. DH is about to be in Oly for a summer job (he's a teacher) for 2 wks, so it would take some feats of crazy organization to get my work outs in, but if I DON'T sign up, then I may not bother to work out. I know my laziness. We've hung out for years... we're good friends.

One of the questions I've been asked, is what on EARTH made you decide to do this?

I think I mentioned this a couple of months ago, but I learned this fall that I have a congenital heart condition. It's called a bicuspid aortic valve, and is complicated by an enlarged aorta. What this means is that my valve between my heart & my aorta has two of its little leaflets stuck together, and so it does not work as efficiently as one with the normal three leaflets. My body, amazing machine that it is, has made my aorta bigger in order to compensate.

In my head, I know that what my cardiologist tells me is that this is not that big of a deal. After all, if this is congenital, I've had it all of my life. I walked 60 miles in 3 days with this heart. I gave birth naturally with this heart. It's been doing its job for the last 35.5 years, and will likely keep doing said job for the next 40.

Emotionally, it's not so simple. I was 34 years old, and have a cardiologist. Since when your aorta decides to stretch out a little, just like a balloon that is blown up, it's not as strong, my doc told me that the only restriction is that I shouldn't lift more than 40 lbs. This week my baby turns 6. With the growth spurt he's been on, I'd say he's got to be at least 48 lbs. He's asking me not to lift my child.

But there is NOTHING that I can do. Other than avoiding stress (I LIVE on stress- it's my happy place) and not picking up my baby (like THAT is going to happen) I'm just supposed to get an echo cardiogram once a year to see if any thing's changing.

I'm not someone who deals well with things being out of my control. But my weight has gone up, and I have been having a hard time making it stop. As I may have mentioned... I don't so much enjoy exercise. AT ALL. But once I make a decision to do something, I'm going to do it. I'm a hard worker, but I need a goal, a light at the end of the tunnel.

So that is why, this weekend, I should have been doing a triathlon. To be honest, I was really glad to have some time off, and get to rest and relax with my boys. But after slacking all week, I need to kick it back into gear.

Tonight I swam, tomorrow night I will wun, and Wednesday... well, that's my baby's special day, so we will see.

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