Three, it's the magic number!

So Sunday was it. The TREK Women's Triathlon. The tri I've been training for since MAY, and my third and final race of the season.

It was the biggest, the longest, and by far the best run of my events. The big national sponsor probably helps with that, but it also had a terrific atmosphere. And the fact that I got to do it with so many of my ladies didn't hurt either.

So race day started bright and freaking early. Race started at 7:15a, and I had to park, rack my bike, get body marked (grosses me out to do the day before), get set up, get into my wetsuit, and oh yeah, I live 30 min away.

I got no sleep the night before (can't sleep, won't wake up, can't sleep, need to sleep, so I don't bonk, can't sleep, need to sleep too much- kind of night) so I was a little cranky when I got up. Thank GOODNESS I had everything packed & ready to go.

I get into Seattle, and know that I'm blocks away from the park when I see people walking their bikes... uh, oh. I follow a stream of traffic to park in a field a block and a half away from the MASSIVE Genesse Park. The good thing I see- roads are closed until 1pm. I KNOW I can finish 5 hours...

Fast forward, transition set up, event zero (the wetsuit wiggle) complete. I find some of my amazing tri friends, and we go get into the water to wait for our wave. I meet even more of my friends, and a few more who are not friends yet. I don't really swim as much as get acclimated, and ready for the water. I'm in wave 8, so I've got some time to relax.

Out and back into the water for our pep talk from Sally Edwards. If we see another woman in trouble the way to give her energy, "You Go Girlfriend!" And the word for today, terrific! We are terrific swimmers, terrific cyclists, terrific runners, terrific triathletes.

10... 9... 8... 7... 6... All I can think- DAMN that second buoy looks FAR away. 5... 4... 3... 2... Holy crap, whose idea was this again? 1... and we're off.

This is the first race I've been in where we've got so much water support. I'm keeping it slow and steady. Around the first buoy, still no panic attacks, no flipping on my back. Snow and steady. It's OK to rest a little. Don't need help, just breathe a little, and stroke, stroke, slow & steady. Random musing while I swim along- I wonder- how much time I will cut down when I lose all of the weight I want to and get the breast reduction down from ridiculous to just big? Seems like my K cups would cause a lot of drag.

"You are not alone," kind of cheesy Michael Jackson song, but keeps me on tempo. Around that second buoy, it's not so far away. And now I can see the end of the swim. Stroke, stroke, slow & steady. Still no panic attacks, and no flipping over. At the end, over the icky milfoil. Stroke until I touch 3 times, people to help us stand, and I'm headed up the hill for transition. 29:37 for my first ever 1/2 mile swim.

My spot was the far side of the transition area. The major advantage to being slow, it's much easier to find my bike with so many others from my rack already gone. Headed out, big crowd to cheer us on, and I'm feeling good. Out flat on our way to I-90, but then we climb to get to the Express Lanes. Getting passed, which is OK, but the actual trail to get onto the bridge is a walking trail, split for bikes going both ways. With an "s" curve. Straight uphill. Lost momentum, and for the first time in a tri, I'm off my bike and walking. Seemed safer than a crash.

The bridge was chilly, but not too windy. Steep high rise to get up onto Mercer Island, and into the tunnel. Lots of shouting for encouragement, cool echo. I get to turn around soon right? Nope. Never noticed there are hills in the Express Lanes on Mercer Island before. WTF? Going, going, and at the bottom of a hill, the turn around. Losing all of my lovely downhill momentum. Crap.

The way back is easier, because I know I'm more than half way. Push, push, hips starting to hurt. Hands falling asleep. Up the Seattle side high rise, and then it's almost all down hill. Second Chocolate gel- drink some water- CRAP- don't crash into that wall. Blow a kiss to the photographer, and back into transition. 1:00:08. (Yes, this is almost 20 min faster than Lk Samm)

Second transition is my fastest ever. Drop the bike crap, grab one more drink, my visor, and for once my heart rate monitor (HRM) to keep my honest, and in just over 2 min, I was off again.

Started out walking (my heart rate monitor said I could- but if I got under 140, it was time to run a little) but walking fast. I felt like the biggest mistake I made in the 5k was to start out running too fast. It's easier to set your own pace after the swim start in a tri- there's no crowd mentality. Saw a walker up ahead and jogged a bit to catch up and walk with her for a while. She was in a relay, but it turns out that she also did the Breast Cancer 3 day in 2001. We chatted about the importance of training, and drinking things like Gatorade even if they taste nasty, and then I checked my handy dandy HRM and was off & running.

My couch to 5k coach wrote a blog several weeks ago about races she likes, and says that she thinks out & back races are boring. I respectfully disagree. I like seeing others and shouting words of encouragement on the bike course. I couldn't tell you how many people I high-fived on the wun. We're all in it together, and it helps to see more people IMHO.

Anyhow, I was fairly true to my HRM, and picked up when I could/needed to. I already knew when to slow down. :)

Big hill, walked, no big deal. I met up with some ladies who were in my tri coach's new group. We wan together a mile or so. It was nice, although I think I let myself off of the running hook a little too much. We lost one person slightly, with a little run downhill. More and more down hill, and then we were in the park. Robin says to me- "I'm running at the orange."

So I was planning to run, as well, and I did. But then I saw my son, hubby & mom. And my son says, "You finished mom, I'm so proud of you!" in his shrieky little 6 year old voice, and I ran a little harder. Next thing I knew, I was sprinting. Like, OMG-someone-is-going-to-grab-my-child sprinting. And grinning. They called my name and said, "Wow, look at her go!"

And then it was over. I was hugging my boys, and my mom was crying. It was the best I've ever felt at the end of an athletic thing. I know how people get hooked.

My original purpose for this blog was just to share my training journey, and hope that by showing other people what I have gone through, they would believe that they could do it too. I still contend, if I can do a triathlon, ANYONE can. And as I've done this, I've made at least three people I know of decide they could, and not only sign up, but complete triathlons. I know of a couple more who are still in the planning stages, and at least one who went through with plans when it would have been easier to give up. I think that makes every single one of us a success.

My time for the wun was 50:40, my best for a tri, and only 3 min slower when I did just a 5k the weekend before. My total time? 2:28:15. Two min better than my stretch goal. I told a friend yesterday that my time may not have been a great time in GENERAL, but it was a great time for ME. And I'm the only one of me who was in it, right?

So this COULD be my last blog, but I think that this is just the beginning. I'm seriously looking at at least 5 races next year, starting with one where I learned to swim in Corvallis, OR in May. I'm hoping to lose some weight this winter to make all of this less work. Still thinking about more 5ks, so I can improve my wun time. Maybe some spinning classes to help me in the bike. And I'm still working on that $2200 in the couch cushions.

Hi. My name is Ange. I'm a triathlete. Come tri with me, the best is yet to come!

We're all scared

I've been meaning to write (you know how that is) but the problem I have when I go TOO long without writing is that I have too many things rattling around in my head to say, and I have a hard time picking one out.

My hubby is sick, and when I came home from riding the bike at the gym (I really would rather be outside, but it's dark by the time my kid is asleep now and I want to spend time w/ him more than I want to ride outside) and DH was FINALLY watching the season finale of Grey's Anatomy.

There was this scene, this line, that just struck me, and reminded me why I've saved that show for like 4 months to make sure he watched it. Dr Bailey is talking about HER husband giving her an ultimatum & the chief says her husband is scared. Her response is such a GREAT line (I LOVE great writing):

"Well, we're all scared! I mean, if you're not scared you're not paying attention!"

When I started writing this blog, it was to share what I'm doing with my friends all at once, and I had a stretch goal, to see if I could get someone to try something new- maybe a triathlon, maybe something else.

I'm not sure if it's ALL about the blog, but as of this weekend, I have convinced at least 3 people that they could do tris, and have talked a couple of others in to 5ks. Pretty damn exciting.

People keep telling me that I'm inspiring, but I would say that each of those people is inspiring in their own right. My new friends who learn to swim so they can do triathlons. Ladies who have all sorts of obstacles like illnesses, family issues, whatever, but still get up in the morning and get on with their day.

Nothing in this life is easy. We all make a myriad of decisions every day that can be right, wrong, or even right now. But the fact is, we are all doing the best that we can.

OK- so on that cheesy note, my 5k race report. Did the Iron Girl 5k. If I do no other 5k, I think I will likely do this one again. It was well run, we got cool medals & had a nice breakfast, but the coolest part was the "Mommy/Daughter" aspect of the event. There were a BUNCH of little girls, many my son's age and younger, running with their mom. It was amazing to see so many little girls running.

When I was that age, I was a book worm. Hell, let's face it, I still am a book worm. But it was the 1970s, and girls were not always expected to be athletic. I was smart, and that was good enough. It's neat for me to see that girls are so much more empowered to be active now.

The wun part went well. I started out at a pretty good jog, but went to a walk after about 1/2 mile. I wore my heart rate monitor, and made sure that I wasn't pushing too hard, but also that I wasn't letting myself off the hook too much either.

My 5k for my two tris have been 55 & 53 min each. So my goals were 1) finish w/out stopping, 2) finish in 50 min, and my STRETCH goal, was to finish in 45 min.

My finish time, :47:05. But you know what, I'll take it! I know that 30 min is the typical goal, but I stuck with what was right for me. I made a joke to someone who I kept catching up with, sometimes passing, and then falling back behind when we got lapped by the 10k ladies, that when I'm feeling mean, I want to strap an extra 100 lbs to then and see how they do.

The final thing I did Saturday was likely the dumbest. There was a Specialized rep there with their Women Specific Design bikes to try, and I took out a Ruby Elite. It's a $2200 bike, and when I rode it, it was like the heavens opened up and angels sang. I wanted to hug it and never let it go... sorry 1994 TREK MountianTrack. You've been replaced in my heart.

So if anyone has $2200 lying around that they want to donate to a nice lady who wants a new bike let me know!

Next race report: after this weekend's TREK Women's Sprint Tri. EEP!

The things I'm trying to remember: 1) Run my own race. It's me against the me, not anyone upon whom I would like to strap my extra 100 lbs. 2) Slow down in the water, and take long strokes. I'm a good swimmer, and with all of the stuff around me and wearing my wetsuit, I will not drown. 3) None of this means I can be lazy. If I want to do MY best, I can't just walk. I have to TRY.

I'll let you know how that goes.

I lothe running

Yep, I said it. I didn't mean to type a 'v' I LOTHE RUNNING.


It makes my knees hurt, my hips hurt and makes it feel like my skin is too tight. My face gets hot, and my hands feel all sausage-y. I'm reminded of all of my extra bouncy parts, since, you know, running makes them bounce.


Tonight I didn't have to wun, I got to walk, but it was a hill workout, so it was still tough.


My husband did similar and was so focused on "running" that when I asked if he saw the deer in two different places that I did, he wasn't sure.


I however, had a deer watch me for a good half mile, down a hill, and up again, and then saw a mom & her baby tentatively cross the street in front of me.


The moral is this. I'm slow, but I'm aware of what's around me. I'm trying to notice the air, the ground, the sky. Anything that will take my mind off of how much I f***ing HATE running.


Short post tonight- excited to see several of my tri girls for an open water swim tomorrow. Can't believe that the TREK is only 2 weeks away! More frightening, my 1st 5k, next Saturday.


Finally, I give you some pics by ImageArts Photography of my tri last weekend. There aren't any that are happy, so I will not highlight many, but if you've ever wondered what I look like... and in a wetsuit no less, see if you can pick my 5 pics out on this page.


Here's a hint, my finishing pic (also courtesy ImageArts)... it's kind of tempting to just do a little virtical squeeze & make me skinny, but that's not the point.

On to the next race. And here's hoping I'm crossing the finsh line smiling this time :)

632 (Or what being dead last means to me)

Of 640 people who jumped in Lk Sammamish with the intent of doing a triathlon on Saturday, I crossed the finish line 632nd.

How that makes me dead last? 633-640 were DNF. The worst possible result in a triathlon. Did Not Finish.

There were reasons for this. Not excuses, but reasons. (For the difference, see my feelings on guilt vs regret)

First and foremost, I had not trained significantly in 3 weeks. And by that I mean, since my Aug 1 tri, I did one open water swim, one pool swim, and like wan like 3 times. That includes twice with my 5 k group. And didn't get on my bike at all.

The reasons for the lack of training are good ones. Father in law in a coma for a week. Father in law passes away and I have to help only child hubby deal with (or avoid dealing with) the fall out. The cold from hell. Which did it's usual path for me and spent a few days in my head before settling in my chest & making me sound like Lauren Bacall.

The last one was the one the did the most damage this weekend. I started out, pre-race, feeling pretty good. My hubby asked me the night before if I really wanted to do it, since I still sounded like I was hacking up pieces of lung, but I felt like that would be wimping out. I took my inhaler, and cold meds, and there was a slight drizzle, but hey, who cares about rain when you're swimming, right?

I was a little nervous when I got in the water, but felt that way the 1st time, so didn't think anything of it. Things went significantly down hill from there. I had several friends doing this event, so I had people to talk to as we waited. We were waiting for the pre-race meeting that we never heard happen. (This would be important later)

Things were running late, but no big deal. We waded out into the water at 7:28a and got the start. About 75 meters in to the 1/4 mile swim, I tried to hydrate myself by inhaling a large amount of water. I coughed for a min, and never was able to catch my breath again. At this point, the spirit was willing, but my lungs were not. I treaded water, backstroked and doggie paddled for 1/4 of a mile. The kayak support offered to help, but I didn't take it. I was going to swim under my own power, but every time I tried to take a full crawl stroke, I had a coughing fit. So after what felt like an hour (but was actually around 18 min) I got out and walked up the beach. Only to find that you had to jump up like a foot, with no stairs. WTF?

Transition went OK. It was really raining by then, but as I was all wet, didn't really worry about it. Wetsuit off, racebelt skirt on, wet socks, wet shoes, pink sleeves, 15 year old gloves, helmet. Just over 4 min.

I was just getting out onto the course when the very first men started to come back from the bike. I heard some rubbing on my front tire, but wasn't able to figure out what it was before the race, so didn't get off to mess with it. As we were leaving, my husband told me that it was my brake rubbing. THE WHOLE 13+ MILES. This course was harder, the roads were open, and it was a slight uphill the whole way out- with a pretty big hill just before the turn around.

The bike was hard. I hadn't ridden a bike outside in the rain since college. Why would I? At one point, it rained hard enough that I was soaked all over. I was coughing up lots of phlegm, and decided that I was over being ladylike. Lots of spitting. It was icky.

It likely didn't help that my elderly mountain bike was working against me with the maladjusted brake. Then again, I have to take the tire off to get it in my car- so that was my fault. This was almost an hour and 20 min. My husband thinks that 10-15 min of that was caused by the brake drag.

The second transition was where I lost it. At every point until this, my spirit has been stronger than my body. My determination was more than my lungs. But as I rode in, people were leaving. If you're a decent triathlete, 1:45 is an easy time to hit. As I walked my bike to my spot, I had to dodge around families and eating people. I knew I wasn't last in on the bike since I didn't have a motorcycle escort, but still, it was discouraging. I was frustrated, but I kissed my kid, and looked around for the run out.

I went back over where the bike out was, where the people were coming in, and couldn't find it. I asked someone, and the pointed all the way back by the lake, the other side of transition. With all of the people "helping" saying, "you go!" none of them could say- "you go- THAT WAY"???

I was tired, wet, dirty, and completely lost it. Panic Attack. Gasping for breath. And fighting tears. I was SO frustrated, so angry, and above all else, mad at myself, because I wanted to do better this time.

There were a couple of areas that were poorly marked. At one point I took a wrong turn. But the one thing I never did is stop. I got passed. I got mad. I ran (a tiny bit). I walked. I told the photographer to leave me alone as I left transition crying. I got ahead of my son as he walked alongside me, and I had the chorus of Madonna's "Can't Stop" running over and over in my head. I didn't stop.

One reason I decided to do triathlons is because I didn't want to do just one sport and be really slow. Somehow, I felt like it was more OK to be slow at three sports. Yes, I realize that if you've never done one, it doesn't make a lot of sense, but if you've been there, you know what I mean. I don't have to win. I just have to finish.

I also was hoping to be an example for my son. He doesn't just see me as pudgy Mommy reading all of the time, but as active Mommy, wunning, riding my bike. But Saturday, I think I showed him a bigger lesson. One I learned about myself some time Saturday afternoon.

There was no way I was going to come in first in the race. Hell, for me, it's not much of a race. It's an event. Most of my life, if I couldn't win, I wouldn't compete. But this is my new thing. It's all about the effort. And never ever giving up.

So on Saturday morning, that's what I taught my son. The time is not important. The destination is only important in that it's the end. I can hate every step of the way, it's not even about the journey. It's all about my willingness to take the journey. It's all about doing MY best. And trying to get better.

Hell, there was only one person who was first. And one who was last. And I'm ok with that.

Guilt vs Regret

I've always made a point of living my life with out regrets. I'm not sure where I am on the whole "higher power" thing but I do believe that things turn out the way they are meant to, and that regret is pointless. You can't change the past, you can only change the future, and do your best to move forward from where you are now.

Unfortunately, although this is something that my brain knows and believes, it does not in any way help with guilt.

These last few weeks have been rough on my family. After five days in a coma, my husband and I made the difficult decision to take my father in law off of the respirator, and he died within hours. My head knows that we're doing all of the right things, and that it's more important to now focus on MY boys, who are alive, and what it right for them, but this does not dispel guilt.

As this relates to my workouts, as soon as I went back to work after Bob's death, I had a major cold kick in. It started in my head, but as always seems to happen for me, it promptly settled into my chest. So for almost two weeks, I have not been able to breathe. No breathing= no workout.

Again, the brain knows that I felt like poop, which is not good for working out, but I can't shake the guilt.

Before, this would not worry me, but now, I not only miss the working out, but I've got a tri. TOMORROW MORNING. I'll get on my bike today, but I'm worried. Tried to go for a run last night, and I couldn't breathe.

So tomorrow will be about two things for me. Drugs, and pacing. I'll NEED to make sure I use my inhaler to keep my lungs open, and maybe a decongestant to stay clear. Sadly, the thing that cost me the most yesterday was laughing, which then caused a coughing fit. I need to make sure I'm taking it slow, but still fast enough that I don't have major attacks of guilt later.

Mortality, Morbidly, and Muscles

I'd beat myself up more for not writing, but my father in law had a massive heart attack and has been in a coma, so I think I get a little bit of a pass.

But time spent in the ICU at Harborview Medical Center means less training time, while I ponder my own mortality. When we look at the risks for what happened to him (at 64) we check a lot of boxes that for ME would not be checked:

• Smoker FIL-Y Me- N
• Heavy Drinker FIL- Y Me- N
• High Blood Pressure FIL-Y Me-N
• High Cholesterol FIL-Y Me-N
• Over 60 FIL-Y Me-Not yet :)

But then there are boxes the other way:

• Congenital Heart Defect: Me- Y FIL-N
• BMI over 30(get it, morbidly obese?): Me- Y FIL-N

So since the tri, I have not been great about keeping up with my workouts. I've been on my bike... nope, no times. Just one time on the bike at the gym. I've been to the pool once, and open water once each. And Wunning... I have done NO wunning. Or walking in an exercise fashion. Or even pilates in the last week.

So if I'm going to work on my BMI bullet, then I need to get on that horse. Or at least off of my ass.

I tweeted earlier in the week about the TIME Magazine article on weight loss & exercise. And for me it makes sense. If I work out, it's OK to have an ice cream bar. Oh, and it's a 100 cal Skinny Cow. So I get two, right? No wonder I'm not losing my fat suit. I keep putting it on as fast as I work on taking it off.

So in a triathlon, which event is likely the hardest on your body, but burns the most calories? Ding, ding, yep, you guessed it- running!

And if you've been reading along, which is the event that I loathe, despise, and avoid any time I can make an excuse? Yep, I've even changed the usage of the word since I avoid it so much, it's running.

So since I'm in random crazy mode, I signed up for some group training called, from couch to 5k, with coach Beth at Running Evolution. We met for the first workout today, and I think it was a good choice. I'm running with other women who are at my level (or lack there of) so I don't beat myself up, or feel like I'm holding others back the same way I did with my other group. And I'm training for a 5k on Sept 12, a week before the Trek, the Irongirl. It looks like a lot of fun, and the big thing I've learned, is that I CAN train all alone... but I don't work as hard or do as well.

Even when I did the tri- I felt like all of the other women were already GOING to do better than me, so there was no point in pushing my boundries. 104th best was OK. I'm still not trying to win my age division or anything, but I could and SHOULD push for MY best. And now I will. Even if it means moving further out of my comfortzone and running.

Maybe I'll figure out why on earth other people do it on purpose.

One down two to go!

So, I guess I owe everyone a post...

Last week was amazingly busy at work, I had late meetings Thursday, but still managed to get to swim with my training team at Beaver Lk, even if I was late. Was too hot for my wetsuit, but it fit, and I got some time in it in the water.

So Thursday night, very little sleep. Friday I had the big thing I was working late for on Thursday, so work, work, work. Then we drive to Olympia to drop off the kid & dog with Grandma, drive, drive, drive. Check into hotel in Vancouver, WA (just north of Portland) at 11p.

Up at 5:45a. Hubby and I both couldn't sleep because we were worried about oversleeping. Up and a couple of pieces of French Toast at the hotel's breakfast and off to Blue Lake Park in Fairview, Oregon.

On the drive, I was ready to lose the French Toast. I knew this was something that I could do, but I was pretty sure the butterflies were going to win a little battle in my middle. We got parked and I picked up my packet. Before I knew it, I was in the the transition area. There I felt a little better, I knew what I was doing. I even helped others who didn't know how to set up.

There were a not a lot of women wearing wetsuits, but I wanted to have the floatation and confidence, so I wore it anyway. Since it was a "Try It" event, it was a shorter swim. The start was fully in the water, but that was OK. I did alright swimming in the crowd, and I think that if I go down to the water in time to practice a little and relax, it will go better. Only 3 little panic attacks, and I rolled over to my back twice, but in large part, that was because I saw so many others doing the back stroke. I was actually hot in the wetsuit, but when the the temps have been in the upper 90s for a week, I think that's to be expected.

We had to run up a hill to get to the transition area, and I spent longer there than I NEEDED to, but I was not pushing myself super hard either. The big change I think I'd make there is to get a little snack- something to help give me a little extra energy for the ride.

The ride itself went well, but I did lose a fair amount of ground. My husband noticed I've got one of the heavier bikes out there- I got new road tires put on my 1994 Trek Mountain Track, but still it's HEAVY compared to a road bike. I was pretty excited that I remembered to drink water... I tend to forget when I'm on a ride but I tried to make it a priority. We went along a pretty road that's along the Columbia River. It was pretty flat (although I later figured out that the ride out was a slight incline) but there was a significant head wind on the ride out. In theory, that would make the ride back in go REALLY fast, but I was pooped by that point, so I was happy to let it push me along. I also had some random numbness in my left foot & hand... will have to ask my Dr about it next time I go in.

Last transition I did have a chocolate gel. Not bad, but not a regular diet staple. Again, I think it would have been better to take on the bike ride. Had some water, but I really should have taken it with me for a little while. And I think that I could have moved faster. Took me like 4 min, but I do think one of those was looking for the dang gel (which was in the goodie bag they gave us @ the event.)

So then, I walked. Could I have done a little running? Of course. But I was getting hot, and with my history of heat exhaustion, I didn't want to push it. I was alone most of the way, but at the very end, caught up with a pair of women who were also doing their 1st tri, and we talked together to almost the end.

Overall, my time was right around 2:20. Not awesome, but not a bad benchmark to start from. I felt great when it was over, so I know that I could have pushed myself harder. Not that I want to actually make myself sick, but I felt like I should have been more tired. That will be my goal for the next one, better time, and actually tire myself out.

This weekend I'm planning to do a swim in Lk Sammamish, so I'll be familiar with what the water is like before my next tri on 8/29. Still haven't decided if I'm going to do the Seattle Open Water Swim on 8/15, so that I have a full 1/2 mile under my belt before the Trek, and if I'm going to do the Railroad Days 5k with my hubby & son. Maybe I'll just run the 1k w/ the kid. That one is on 8/22, so would make my Aug a pretty busy month.