I don't really see myself as an inspiration. Yes, I'm heavier than I've ever been in my life, and I've decided to do a triathlon. But that's not about other people right? Despite jobs where I could get a lot of attention (I spent a LONG time in TV news behind the scenes), I've never wanted a spotlight. So why would I write a blog in which I will likely share TMI, and is all about me?
The reason came this week. I've NEVER been a small person. I'm 5'8" and even when I was going thru some fights with eating disorders in HS & college, I was never under 150 once I hit my full height. Add that to my rediculious chest (we'll put it this way, I was a 34 F when I got pregnant, and am a 38 K now) and I have a hard time finding clothes to work out in. So I went to a local running place that was supposed to carry "Skirt Sports" stuff, and was hoping to see how their sizes run, and maybe get a stride check since I need another pair of shoes. I was uncomfortable to start, but I felt like I got a "why are YOU here (looking at work out clothes) vibe" that made me think, you know, enough is enough.
How is someone who is big supposed to get smaller if they can find anything to wear that the don't feel like a moron in? Do you have ANY idea how hard it is for me to find a sports bra? Is there anyone on earth who needs a sports bra more than a woman with big boobs? No. So does that mean they are easy to find? Of course not.
Anyhow, I digress. After this experiance left such a bad taste in my mouth, I had two diferent people tell me that I'm an inspiration, for deciding to just go for it. I took a similar tack when I did the Breast Cancer 3-day BEFORE I had my son. Everyone seemed to think I was crazy and I could never do it. I'm a little stubborn, and had to prove them wrong.
It's not really about the weight for me as much as being healthy. I learned I have a heart condition last year that SHOULDN'T be a big deal but having approx 100 extra pounds of padding to carry around can't help. So now even though I HATE exercise (don't mind lifting weights... the one restriction my cardiologist gave me) I'm doing it because I want to be around to meet my 5 year old son's grandkids. If I do a better job taking care of my self I don't think that's too much to ask.
So who am I? I'll talk a little about myself because it's easier, but I would rather you think that I could be you. I'm the woman who swore she would never be a "fat mom" until one day I looked in the mirror and thought, "Well, shit. I AM a fat mom."
My basics:
- I'm 35, and live near Seattle (I grew up in the area as well)
- Beyond being a full time mom (because it's NOT a part time job) I'm also a full time PR professional
- I've been married for 12 years, and have been with my husband since the first weekend of college, 17 years ago
- I love to bake (MAJOR sweet tooth) and I love to read
- I DO NOT LIKE TO WORK OUT
- I have not been swimming or ridden my bike regularly in at least 10 years
- I am doing the Seattle Trek Women's Triathlon on July 5th, 2009
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