I get a lot of philosophical thinking in while I'm doing my workouts. Haven't yet decided if that's a good or bad thing.
I realized as I was swimming, the only one with out a wetsuit, I thought back a little bit about my academic & athletic career. I was never a 4.0 student. Not because I couldn't be, but because I could be a 3.5-3.7 student without any effort.
So I think that has carried over a lot into my athletic career (or lack there of). I couldn't be even a B athlete with out effort, so I didn't really try. It's not exactly a proud realization, but I think it's an important one.
In this case, it carries over into an important lesson. I need to go make coffee cake for Father's Day, so I think that much of this discussion will wait for another time, but I'm frustrated that I've only lost a couple of pounds. I am starting to see some body differences, but considering the extra baggage I'm carrying, I'd love to not have to carry all of the extra weight through the course. But that would take more effort than I've been putting in. I need to do more cardio than just the min training time. I need to figure out nutrition that's more than just refueling, but for weight loss as well.
So back to the swim yesterday... once I got IN the water and acclimated, it went OK. I had a panic attack starting out again, but I think I need to not ATTACK the water, and give myself permission to ease in to it. So starting out I couldn't catch my breath enough to get my face in the water, and once your lungs seize like that, it's really hard to get back on track. I'm going to be asking my Dr for an inhaler, to be ready before I go in the water, but I also think that spending more time in the open water will be important.
Since I was the only one with out a wetsuit, I wore fins. Felt like cheating a little, but knowing that the other ladies had help floating I justified it in my head. I wasn't the slowest swimmer, but I stopped and floated more, so I still took as much time as the slowest. Considering swimming is likely to be my best sport (as long as I don't panic in the big crowds) I need to be pushing myself harder. I keep giving myself these excuses, and I need to stop. I may not be an elite triathlete like our coaches, but I can do better than I am.
With more than four months of training, I'm no longer shooting to just finish. I don't need a GOOD time, but if I'm going to push myself that little bit harder, it's not just finishing, or as my goal has been lately, not stopping, but finishing in a way that will make me proud.
If I do what I need to- Sally Edwards will not be the only one finishing after me.